Of Mike and Men
by EvilSloth
Summary: An epic tale of bromance
1. Chapter 1

_New story time! Here lies the epic romance of Mikeward. It will probably only be a few chapters long, but the plot will be slightly parallel with Twilight with a few changes._

_Stephanie Meyer would not be a happy camper if she saw what I was doing with her characters. Shhhh..._

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><p>One thing I could respect humans for is their ingenuity. I felt the car hug the turns as the speed kept increasing, the needle on the speedometer hit 130 miles per hour. It was times like this I was glad no one could read my mind, all they would hear is <em>Broom broom, eeeeek, brrrroooooooooom<em>. I'm sure Jasper could feel my glee, this was the only time he wouldn't bitch at me for my emotions.

I slowed down to a more human speed as we came across busier roads. I couldn't wait for the day to be over, I would go driving when the humans would be asleep and my family would be fornicating. I quickly changed my mind, not wanting Alice to see me screeching around Forks in my automobile mimicking its noises and running the usual commentary "Masen makes the turn, dodges the deer racing across the road and swerves to hit Lauren Mallory, the crowd goes wild!" This would be followed by my imitation of a roaring crowd and an Emmett like fist pump.

I prepared myself for the sound barrier, the point where the mental voices of Forks would hit me like a sledgehammer to the groin. I felt Jasper reach his limit and the little wave of despair he sends out before he gets control of himself, mine was next.

I grunt as the cacophony swarms my mind. It takes me a while to get my bearings, even with my massive brain. I focus on my siblings minds, tuning the others out. Rosalie is thinking about the book she read by Sun Tzu, Emmett was thinking of ways to reduce the National Debt, Alice was blocking me by mentally humming Mozart, knowing just how much Mozart annoys me and Jasper was thinking of eating people again.

The hum of the school relaxed into the back of my brain, I sighed in the years I had learned that human minds were so alike in their thought patters that it was easier to get the important information out of the collective consciousness than trying to focus on individuals. Today the gestalt student body thought of latest conquests, gossip, sexual fantasies and a new student.

Forks high was a buzz of excitement, two influxes of new students in one week, truly they would be discussing this for years to come 'The Great Forks Population Boom.' I snorted, earning looks from the others. "There's a new student starting today,"  
>"But it's Friday, who starts school on a Friday?" Emmett was as astute as ever. Rosalie shrugged "at least it takes the attention off us, I'm sick of dodging wood in crowded hallways." Jasper and I winced, she may be surrounded by erections, but at least she didn't have to deal with their fantasies and feelings. There was no way in hell I would get used to people thinking about my sister that way. Alice remained strangely quiet, still humming that twat, Mozart.<p>

We parked and exited the car, heads turned towards us, but we were quickly redirected back to gossip about the new student. I gathered what information I could about the new girl "apparently she's Chief Swan's daughter, they are trying to imagine what she looks like by imagining the Chief in a school dress with pigtails. It's quite humorous." My siblings shuddered at the mental image.

I scanned the parking lot and was mesmerized. The bluest eyes I'd ever seen looked back, seemingly looking into my soul. Their depth swallowed me in, I was just a charmed snake in their presence. Alice shoved me, breaking the spell. I kept moving, but kept focus on the hypnotic eyes. My vision moved out, taking in detail of the eyes' owner. Fair complexion, like porcelain with a blush of rose. Honeyed locks of hair with golden hues. Soft pink lips, begging for attention, and a nose perfectly proportioned to make the face a masterpiece of perfection. A living incarnation of Rafael's cherubs.

Utterly fascinating, I had never been so intrigued by someone in this existence. I would have to befriend this person, he would become a schoolyard chum. I had to know him. Very few thoughts were centered on him, people still clinging to the image of Charlie in a long brunette wig. This was a crisis, I had to know him. I zeroed in on the Stanley girl's mind, whimpering as as her mental voice screeched like the harpy she is. The name Mike caressed my neural pathways. Focus! I chided myself, the boy with the face of an angel, had the name of an angel. Michael.

Why had I not seen him sooner? Had he been unwell? I tried to pinpoint his mental voice in the hubbub, relief surged in me when I found the voice._ Can't believe I have to catch up on 4 days work, this is going to suck. Tyler should have got the suspension, he threw the first punch, not me. It's not my fault Lauren tried to sleep with me. Oh god, there's Jess. I just can't be bothered with her crap today._

I could sympathize, in every school there was at least one female who convinced herself she was the one for me. Usually it was some goth girl with a death wish, only they would be dumb enough to ignore their instincts and chase after the "brooding and mysterious" Edward Cullen. Thankfully none of them picked up on the whole Vampire thing. I did not need another Anne Rice.

There was a dull roar behind the noise of teenagers. It was the vehicular version of a death rattle, what on earth was the driver doing to that car? I could see Rosalie scowling, she abhorred abuse of any machinery. I focused back on Michael, at least there was someone at this school who could hold my attention. He was currently swatting away the Stanley girl as she kept trying to stroke his arm. _God damn it, I don't want to go back to Doctor Gerandy for crabs. Once was enough, not to mention shaving my pubes for a week after. That was hell. _I couldn't help the twinge of annoyance, she had taken advantage of him? Poor man, she must be a succubus. My thoughts went to Tanya and the various ways she had tried to seduce me, thankfully Carlisle had taken pity on me and created the worlds first Male Vampire Chastity Belt.

Maybe Mike would like a chastity belt of his own.

My thoughts were drowned out by that infernal noise. A faded red truck entered the parking lot, a shudder went through Rosalie and I. It was a classic Chevy, mistreated beyond anything I'd ever seen. We made a hasty retreat to our classrooms, there is no way we could be in its presence any longer. Rosalie was silently mourning the truck, remembering when they were first brought out. 1953 was a good year for trucks, Emmett had the same type of truck in storage.

My siblings headed to their various classes, I headed to English. As usual I retreated into the minds of others, Michael was thinking about the new student, Bella. I watched his observations, silently giggling as she fell over. Poor girl's first class was PE, judging by her performance she could have given Charlie Chaplin a run for his money. I wonder if they're distantly related.

I was called to answer a trite question about Romeo and Juliet, my half arsed response was met with jubilation by the teacher. I zoned out again, I much preferred D H Lawrence and George Bernard Shore. School curriculum often favored the over-rated, sometimes I wondered if teachers secretly tried to turn children into mindless zombies using Shakespeare as a brainwashing agent.

As I returned to Michael's mind I couldn't help but growl lowly, the silly girl had hit him with a volleyball. How dare she! I kept focus, ensuring there was no concussion. As the bell rang I sighed in relief, now he could get away from Forks own Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Fortunately, Michael was in my class next. Maths was something I could tolerate, it was analytical and precise. I almost squealed when I was sat behind Michael, I caught his scent for the first time and thought I had died and gone to heaven, he smelled like leather and Axe body spray. Venom rushed through my body, my skin felt like it hummed with pleasure. I shook my head and tried to focus.

Michael was struggling to get through the work, I felt for him. I too had been on the receiving end of Lauren's seduction, thankfully she gave up quickly. He had fallen quite a bit behind and was worried about his standing on the football team. The teacher approached Michael and I felt him internally groan. I decided to run interference, at full speed I finished the work and met the teacher just in front of Michael's desk. "All finished Sir"  
>"That was incredibly quick Edward, are you sure you don't want to review?"<br>"No Sir, I was in an advanced class in Alaska. I've done these problems countless times"  
>"Perhaps you can help Mike here?" I couldn't believe my ears, I repressed another squeal and smiled at Michael. The tenure of his mind was relieved, but at the same time irritated. Maybe he didn't like having his weaknesses pointed out. Poor fellow, I know how he feels. I was forever emasculated by my family.<p>

The lesson passed in a haze of jubilation. Michael, or Mike as he preferred to be called, was most thankful. I had made a new friend. We managed to get through the days work easily and Mike invited me to his place to work on the rest tomorrow. I learned his father owned the Sporting Goods store, I just knew I could convince Carlisle to start shopping there for our camping supplies.

While the morning was excellent, the subsequent classes were less than ordinary. The Stanley girl saw me chatting with Mike and forced her conversation on me during History and tried torturing me into joining her for lunch.

Thankfully, Mike was in my sights during lunch, he was trying to talk to the infernal new girl who kept blushing, spluttering and looking in my direction. I strained to listen to Mike, but it was no good. Alice got my attention "what are the new girl's thoughts like Edward?"  
>"Huh? Oh, all thoughts are the usual things. She's being told about us at the moment." In truth I hadn't heard a damn thing. I couldn't be bothered. I went back to concentrating on Mike, swooning slightly as his voice entered my mind. <em>I don't know why Lauren and Jess are so critical of the Cullens, they probably got rejected. God knows if I had a sister as hot as theirs I would pretend to be in a relationship with them to get away from those two bitches. I don't know what the other's are like, but that Ed dude is OK.<em> I'm OK? My heart lifted, he wasn't repulsed by my nefarious Vampy vibes. I quickly tampered down my emotions, not wanting to alert Jasper.

Our family dispersed at the sound of the bell, it was time for Biology. I knew Mike had this class and couldn't wait, I hoped I would be able to work with him again. Unfortunately, my morning luck went and completely died, decomposed and departed. Mike had to resume his normal partnership with the Stanley girl and I was left to my self. C_ould be worse_ I thought, and because fate hates me it was. The late bell rang and the infernal Swan entered, I kept my face as emotionless as possible, but couldn't hold my temper in when she stumbled reminding me of how she mercilessly hurt Mike with the volleyball. As I caught her scent I gagged, for the first time in my vampire life I tried not to vomit. Her blood smelt of fish, just like Chief Swan's.

Of course, because fate likes to kick a man when he's down she became my partner for the rest of the year. I turned the full force of my black, murderous glare on her. She let her hair fall over her face, sending another waft of fishy air my way. Good lord, if I was going through my rebellious period I would snap her neck and be done with it. I was struggling to breathe, trying to keep myself from throwing her out the window as far as I could.

Mike gave me a sympathetic look. _Poor dude, she probably stabbed him with a pencil._ I kept as still as I could, counting down the seconds before my reprieve. I couldn't wait to get as far away from this fish woman as possible.

The bell became my beacon of hope, I moved as fast a humanly possible to the car. Taking large gulps of fresh air along the way. Thank god tomorrow is Saturday.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi again, this chapter doesn't strictly follow the corresponding chapter in twilight so keep an open mind :)_

_As usual Stephanie Meyer would be shocked and appalled by my use of her characters._

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><p>CHAPTER 2: OPEN BOOK<p>

"Here kitty, kitty" the cat reared it's head and bolted from the herd of deer it was stalking. I jogged alongside the cat for a while before pouncing on him and ripping open his jugular. Cat's were much more fun to hunt than bears, faster runners and less gamey. I dusted myself off and patted the head of my prey "good kitty."

I headed home in a much better mood than when I left school. Emmett was at the door. Here we go. His thoughts were as loud as the sex he and Rosalie have. _So, you have a thing for fish?_ A low growl rumbled in my chest. _Alice says Bella's your mate. _My growls got louder. "That's incorrect Emmett, I have no mate"  
><em>But Alice saw-<br>_"I don't care what she saw, I am not going to get attached to her. God man, have you even smelt her?"  
><em>Hey, I avoid the Swan's. <em>He backed away, _their smell makes me gag, I didn't even think it was possible for us to gag. Although, you have to admit, she is funny for a human._ I couldn't stop the chuckles as I remembered her falling down. "I'll admit she is funny, you should see her in gym." Emmett's full bellied laugh echoed through the house. "I think I will Bro, I think I will."

One down... from the thoughts swirling around the house I knew this wasn't over, they weren't even blocking me! I sped past them, trying to avoid becoming the Halibut of their jokes. Sighing, I flopped on my couch. In my direct eyeline was a can of tuna with a red bow. Damn them! I threw the can through the glass wall, they can fix it, I am too busy brooding.

I couldn't help but wonder if Mike ever had to put up with this. Probably not, he seemed like a well rounded chap. Was is really worth trying to be his friend? True we had exchanged platitudes and he had thought me a nice enough fellow, but was he going to be in danger from us? What if Jasper took a snap at him? What if the Infernal Swan ended up getting him crushed with a bolder, it happened all the time on those cartoons. My mind flashed with images of all the ways the Infernal Swan could maim Mike.

By the time the sun came up I was a paranoid mess, my normal brooding had morphed into full on neurosis, clearly a sign I needed to take a break from it. I needed to check on the Infernal Swan, find out just how dangerous she is. I cringed as I thought of her smell, this was either going to make me accustomed to her stench or make me insane, it would be worth it to keep Mike safe.

Alice stopped me at the door "you can't watch her today lover boy, it's sunny. I see you scaring the crap out of her when she sees you sparkling outside her window." Oh. Damn. I could use this time to plan, I only needed to watch the Infernal Swan for 24 hours, after that I would be free to monitor Mike for illness, injury and so forth. "It's going to be sunny for the next five days, you can check on them at night. Why would you want to check on Newton anyway?"  
>"He's close to Bella"<br>"Wow, when you want to stalk someone, you're thorough."  
>"It's not stalking Alice, it's monitoring the safety of key individuals" my voice was beginning to turn into a hysterical shriek. Time to kill the conversation. "Say how's Jasper doing with the whole not killing people?" She growled "leave him out of this, he's trying as hard as he can." She stormed off, perfect. Jasper wasn't really that bad, he worked hard at being a vegetarian, but it didn't help when people put him down. I sent a wave of apology to him "hey Jazz, go hunting with me?" I felt the little wave of sadness he emitted, poor guy.<p>

We ran at a steady pace. "Look, Jasper, I'm sorry about my flippant comment. It was the only way I could get Alice to back off."  
>"That's OK man, I couldn't feel any maliciousness coming from you but it's hard not to be depressed on this diet."<br>"You're telling me, at least you have fornication. I just have my standard 10 hours of nightly brooding." He laughed, more relaxed already. "Seriously Jazz, you're doing well. I remember how hard it was getting back from my rebellious days. Carlisle and Esme have a few bite marks from my teething issues" he grinned "I can imagine, I just wish there was something decent to sink my teeth into."  
>"How about the mating mark? Apparently that's normal for couples."<br>"Alice doesn't want me to ruin her skin" a little wave of depression hit me. "I don't know what she sees in me Edward"  
>"She loves you in her own way Jazz, she's just very insecure." He nodded. "I just wish I wasn't making life harder on her."<br>"You're not. How about hanging out more with the rest of us, maybe she'll see that and relax a little. You're mine and Em's brother, you feel that but maybe Alice needs to see that." He nodded.

We headed towards home "Edward, what's happening with you and Mike?" I took a deep breath "he's very nice to me, actually sees past the vampire and sees who I am underneath. I worry about him though, he keeps some rather risky company. The Infernal Swan girl could end up injuring him or the damn Stanley girl could give him crabs again." He looked stunned for a second before shaking his head and resuming the mind block. Everyone in the house, out of courtesy, kept their thoughts blocked from me by keeping a song at the forefront of their mind. This also ensured their privacy, something which was a relief to me as well.  
>Today Jasper's song of choice was Bon Jovi, Living on a prayer. "You like Mike?" Jasper's tone was strange "Of course, he's a genuinely nice person. I was hoping I'd have a schoolyard chum."<br>"I definitely think you'll find him a good mate." Jasper smiled, seemingly giddy. "I think so, I think a school mate is exactly what I need." Jasper laughed, clearly glad I'd found some company. "Just don't tell anyone yet Jazz, Esme might go overboard and scare him off." He nodded, still chuckling. He was a good brother.

That night I stealthily crept to the tree outside Bella's window. Even out here the smell hit me like a semitrailer. I peered into her window, hoping she was decent. By modern standards she was. I made myself as comfortable as possible. A difficult task for one sitting in a tree, being bombarded with the smell of fish. I expelled all the air out of my lungs, my body cried with relief. Thank god air was unnecessary.

The Infernal Swan was wrapped in her blankets, I was astonished. Somehow the blankets had fashioned themselves into a noose around her neck. Clearly this girl was a danger magnet. I'd have to keep nightly watches on her and Mike. I debated with myself, do I try unravelling her from her noose or do I watch and see what happens? My olfactory senses screamed to leave her, let nature take its course. On the other hand Carlisle would be ashamed if he knew how I'd left an innocent to die. My phone vibrated, Alice had messaged me "Save her you moron!"

Damn it! I crept through her window and slowly eased the blankets from around her, careful not to touch her skin. She was quite pretty when she was asleep, she simultaneously let out a loud snore and passed wind. I tried not to laugh, I really did but it was impossible to hold it in. I rushed out as fast as possible, wondering if she was distantly related to Emmett, I could imagine him passing gas a lot as a human. Alice met me at the doorway with Emmett "you're correct Edward, they are related." The confused look on Emmett's face was enough to get me laughing again, Alice explained "Emmett, Bella is you Great Grand Niece." He beamed at us, still wondering why I was laughing I stuttered out "Em must... join... me... tomorrow. Bella's funnier in her sleep than Gym class." I knew for sure he'd appreciate the toilet humor.

Sunday came and went, I sat on the grass of my meadow missing Mike. It had only been a day and a bit, but the prospect of the next three days without him hurt my chest. I had to see him tonight, I couldn't afford Bella to distract me like she did yesterday. I ran back asking Emmett to look after Bella tonight so I could monitor Mike. He was curious why I'd prefer Mike over Bella, but didn't question me too much.

I ran through Forks, wanting to get to Mike's house before the pain in my chest got too bad. I sighed in relief as I saw the house in the distance, the light was still on in his bedroom. I sat beneath his window listening to him moving around. I hoped he'd go to sleep soon, he had school tomorrow and I didn't want him too tired. It was 1 am, didn't humans need more sleep than that? I heard his breathing deepen, but his heart sped up. Strange, I wonder what he's doing. I peered into his mind seeing images of him and Bella in a compromising position and shuddered. I searched for her heartbeat in his room, scared he might be taken advantage of. He was alone, his mind was fixated on her breasts. I had thought he was unattracted to her, I guess the concussion she gave him had made him delirious.

His mind moved back into reality. He was alone in his room, masturbating. I felt myself harden. Maybe I'm attracted to Bella too? I couldn't help but wonder. I couldn't stop looking as he moved his hand at a furious pace around himself, I too started to feel a tingling. Wow, Bella must really be attractive when her smell wasn't in the way. It had been a long time since I had felt so aroused, I sat on my hands not wanting to touch myself. That would be rude, it was bad enough I was sitting outside his window listening to him. God, I'm a dirty old man. Maybe I should have taken Tanya up on her last salacious offer, then I wouldn't have to feel this compulsion.

Mike cleaned himself off. I definitely should make my way over to Alaska before I make a fool of myself. A succubus is definitely what I need. I listened to his breathing slow down and heart beat become steady. By 4 am I was sprinting towards Alaska. I messaged Carlisle "gone to Denali, need the rest of the week off."

I ran through the day, sticking to the forest and making it to Denali by sundown on Monday night. Tanya was there to greet me. "Edward, how can I help you?" Her voice was breathy. "I came to visit for a few days, I hope that's OK?" She smiled and went to hug me, suddenly noticing my problem. I felt her lips gently kiss my own and didn't stop her. She was surprised I was allowing this, but I urgently needed release. I hadn't felt this way for a very long time. She took me by the hand and lead me slowly to her room.

The walls to her room were decorated with gold and red tapestry, her bed was made of dark stained wood and covered in black and burgundy sheets. My nerves were at an all time high. This would be the first time I'd give myself to anyone. I knew my parents would be turning in their graves if they saw me entertaining such a lady, but my need was dire.

Her lips met mine once again and she slowly unbuttoned my shirt. "Edward, you're shaking."  
>"Sorry"<br>"Nothing to be sorry for, I'll help you relax." I felt her hand on the zip of my trousers, my mind instantly went back to Mike in his bedroom thinking about Bella. Her hand wrapped itself around me, much like Mike had done to himself and I jumped in shock, slowly easing myself into the rhythm of her strokes. The tingling sensation became unbearable and I groaned out "please Tanya, I need more." She smiled wider and let my pants fall to the ground. With one shaky hand I tried to remove her clothing. I teared a fair bit of it, but whether from nerves or desperation I couldn't discern. She pushed me lightly onto the bed and ground down on me. I wilted. We looked at each other in shock "that's not supposed to happen Edward." I was a failure, I mumbled sorry once more.

Tanya redressed and watched me. I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, thoroughly ashamed. "Talk to me Edward, tell me why you felt the need to come to me." I stuttered through an explanation of sitting at Mike's house, listening to him fantasize about Bella. "Edward, I want you to think about Bella, concentrate only on her. The way her body moves or the curves of her body." I thought about her breasts in Mike's fantasy and felt myself twitch. Tanya nodded at me, smiling sympathetically. "Now, tell me about Mike. What does he look like?"

After an hour of me explaining every detail available about Mike she looked down. Another jolt of embarrassment went through me, here I had been sitting; naked as the day I was born and now my problem had returned. "I know what you're problem is Edward" I instantly perked up, well the parts that weren't already perky. "You don't have a problem-" I cut her off, "but you already said you knew what my problem is?"  
>"I did, but it's nothing bad. I think you need to spend sometime thinking about everything. I want you to concentrate on thinking about Mike and how you feel about him, your physical reactions as well as your emotional." I nodded, not understanding where she was going with this. I tried to explain to Tanya "I've been alone for a very long time, I don't feel lonely around him." She nodded her head, venom in her eyes. "Why are you sad Tanya?"<br>"I'm not sad, I'm just glad you have someone in your life now Edward, I felt bad for you around all those mated couples. That's why I wanted to be with you, to take away your pain." I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek "I hope you find someone who truly appreciates you Tanya, thank you. I'm sorry I couldn't be that someone and I'm sorry for disrupting you like this." She hugged me back, "whatever you feel Edward, go with it. Don't judge yourself by the standards you or anyone else in your family grew up in. You deserve happiness. Now get dressed" she swatted me on the backside and left me alone to find my dignity.

Making my way down stairs I caught up with the rest of the Denali coven. Eleazar patted me on the shoulder while the ladies hugged me in welcome. I was lucky to have them and even luckier to have Tanya as someone I could confide in. She certainly knew how to read men.

I lay in the sunshine after hunting with the sisters, we basked in the warmth of the sun reflecting off the snow. We may not have been able to feel the warmth, but it was still a pleasant experience. I thought more about Bella, there was something adorable about her, but with her disastrous luck I couldn't decide whether she was the lamb or unknowing slaughterer. There was so much innocence about the girl, she was pretty yet oblivious of the issues teenagers faced. It was endearing. The only problem was her scent, if I could get past that maybe I could see myself with her. Something didn't sit right, seeing her as a potential love interest. I felt like I was trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. No, Bella just didn't fit with my idea of the 'one'.

Mike seemed interested in her, maybe by befriending her I could cement my friendship with him. That is if I haven't driven her away. She must have been terrified when she saw me glaring at her. I guess it was slightly unfair to judge her over something she couldn't help. At least if I befriended her I could keep others out of the path of her danger. I was just being a good Samaritan. I had come to a decision, it was time to head back to Forks. I hadn't missed much school, I would get back to school one day after my siblings.

I thanked the Denali's for their hospitality and hugged Tanya for her help. She was disappointed I hadn't thoroughly sorted out my feelings but was confident I would understand everything in time. I started the run home, enjoying the breeze against my skin and the smell of the trees around me. Running was the most relaxing thing for me to do. I would catch up with my family and then be able to check on Mike and Bella before school started tomorrow.

I arrived home just as the others returned from school. Emmett affectionately twisted me into a pretzel, his mind updating me on what I'd missed. He had watched Bella nightly and confirmed she had "The Famous McCarty Bear Belly" I queried whether he meant beer belly, apparently not. All the McCarty's through time were blessed with superior flatulence skills. Emmett was indeed a proud ancestor. A cringe replaced Rosalie's usual scowl, she was thankful she hadn't known Emmett that well as a human. Undoubtedly she would have had a hard time dealing with his human frailty and bowel motions. Then again, she wasn't as delicate as she looked. All she wanted was to keep the humans out of our lives, she didn't want anyone else to feel the pain she did from overzealous males who reminded her of her terrible rebirth to snide females who reminded her of her peers as a young girl. She didn't want to rob them of their chance at a life she never got.

Jasper was next to tell me he was glad to see me, he wanted some brother bonding time. I patted him on the back and agreed to go on a hunt. I hugged Esme and Carlisle and promised Alice I'd change my clothes into something less worn when I returned. In her mind she thanked me profusely for being there for Jasper, she was relieved. I whispered to her "no problem, he's my brother and I will always be there for him." She gushed in her mind and sent me off to hunt with Jasper.

We made plans to tackle the Mike and Bella situation, he agreed both required my attention and suggested becoming accustomed to Bella's scent. My nasal passages balked, but it did make sense. He handed me a jar of menthol chest rub "Edward, line your nostrils with this, it should cut down the smell." Thank god, I needed all the help I could get. I let Jazz get the mountain lion and I went after the herd of deer.I wasn't very hungry and Jasper had been around humans all day.

School started off as painful as usual, but there was a little ray of hope in the afternoon. Jasper's menthol trick worked, my nose was lined in menthol chest rub, diluting the smell of fish. I was polite to the Infernal Swan, hopefully leading me to the foundation for friendship. Unfortunately, she was persistent and perceptive, all the more reason to keep an eye on her. Her observations varied from astute to obscure. I kept trying to read her mind, I wasn't successful. I couldn't predict her actions either, she was too much of an enigma.

She observed I would be a great reader of people, I didn't understand what she meant by that. I was able to read people, but anyone would be if they had lived as long as I had. Even without my gift I could see the paths in life that humans took through the actions mirrored by their predecessors. Bella didn't know that about me, how could she? I teased her a little, she became irritated by my presence which thoroughly entertained me.

My school day was made complete when she nearly hit Eric Yorkie's rust bucket of a Toyota in the parking lot. In the background of all of this Mike had seen me trying to get along with her. He smiled as she snapped at me and laughed as she nearly hit the Toyota.

For the first time I was looking forward to going to school tomorrow.


End file.
